I am Trying to Pick Fights on Twitter

As an American I decided that my voice needed to be heard. My morning has been filled with me tweeting at companies and more that won’t give the people what they want.

First, I needed to disguise myself. I can’t be tweeting as James without raising a few eyebrows. I created this profile to disguise myself as an old man.

With this, I was ready to strike, but I had to start small.

I went after the most forgettable state, Delaware. They’ve had it too good for too long. since posting this, no one has answered so I tweeted at them again.

When I couldn’t get answers from Delaware’s “Government” I went after tourism.

Honestly, this is a pretty simple question. Why should I travel to Alberta? It’s the worst Canadian territory and if it wasn’t before it is now.

As any old person would do in this trying time, they reached out to their favorite media outlet.

Not shockingly, I didn’t get a response. I was left aggravated, so I went after the big guys.

We are a sports blog, we don’t get involved in politics, so I went after the other side as well.

All of this tweeting made me hungry and I realized I never got food for my fake cat.

I’ll go after anyone from Canada to Oklahoma. I am a champion of the people after all. Anyway, I tweeted at Bush baked beans.

And also pineapples?

Fake ass pineapples.

This is how far my brain has slipped into insanity. I wasn’t even remotely intoxicated. This is just how my brain works and if this quarantine stay at home thing continues… it’ll only get worse.

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