My Dearest Drew: A Short Story

Big Oof. Much Ouch. Aaron Rodgers can’t catch a break.

Drew me boi. Welcome to the offseason! If you are reading this, that means that the Packers defense threw up on itself, and allowed the 49ers to run all over them. Of course, it wouldn’t have been a colossal let down if the run defense hadn’t let RAHEEM MOSTERT. Mostert had more than a quarter of his regular season rushing yards in this game. He posted 220 yards on the ground with 4 total touchdowns. He rushed for 779 yards this season through 16 games. This is the same guy who has been cut by 7 different teams before absolutely pounding Matt Lafleur and the defense.

Now listen, you’re in offseason mode now big guy. Obviously there is the customary week of mourning for your team, which I shall respect. When said week is over, I will be ruthless. Did the team lose the game for Rodgers? The defense certainly didn’t help him. When that week is up, I’ll most likely remind you that you lost to the spawn of Tom Brady and the same guy that allowed 28-3 to happen. Not to mention, the game before 28-3, Rodgers and Co. were dismantled by the Falcons and defensive coordinator Kyle Shanahan. I don’t need to tell you, however, how bad Rodgers has been in Conference Championship games. Now sitting at 1-3, with 3 straight losses in the game. Hey, at least Rodgers is 1-0 in Superbowls, am I right? He’s up there with the greats, such as Trent Dilfer, Brad Johnson, Nick Foles, and the great Joe Flacco. What a guy, that Flacco. How does it feel knowing that Ben Roethlisberger and Eli Manning have more Superbowls than rogers has appearances?

Listen Big Shoots, Rodgers needs help. He is not the same spry young quarterback he once was. If he wants to win another Superbowl, the team is going to have to give him some more weapons. Davante Adams and Aaron Jones are a start, but he needs more reliable receivers. Preferably ones that know how to use their hands. Oh, and maybe the team can pick up a couple of run stoppers too, because if you let Raheem Mostert run all over you, there’s a serious issue. Look on the bright side of things though, no Brady this year! And we don’t have to listen to any of our friends go on about “their” teams, because the Panthers suck, the Eagles couldn’t stay healthy, and well the Patriots fell apart. It could be worse, you could have liked Jim Kelly…? Love you big boi.

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