Is Tom Brady a Serial Killer?

Okay, bold statement, but hear me out. A report came out the other day that Tomas Edward Brady has worn the same pads since 1995. His pads are as old as me. He is a multi-millionaire. He can afford new pads. Don’t try to tell me it’s a ritual thing. It’s OCD and I’m not saying all people who suffer from OCD are killers. That’s just ridiculous. I’m just giving you example A in my case for Tom Brady being a serial killer.

Exhibit B: Diet

Tomas Edward Brady is know for his insane diet. Most notably, the lack of tomatoes. That’s just wild. How do you not eat pizza?? Tomas has been looking sluggish this year. You know what would help him? Some youth pumped into his veins. James, what’s the best way to go about that? Eating human flesh. TOM BRADY IS A CANNIBAL. IF TOM BRADY IMPROVES THIS YEAR HE IS EATING HUMANS. FACTS ONLY.

EXHIBIT C: He kisses his son on the mouth

I refuse to add a photo of this into this post, but I mostly wanted to just say this so I could make fun of him. Nerd.

IN SUMMARY: Tomas Edward Brady is a serial killer. He is eating humans to regain youth and his shoulder pads probably smell bad. Psycho nerd.

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